The old, younger, correction: much younger (because I feel really old now with the heavy sleepless eyes and sagging skin), fierce and the wanderer, that’s me! If I was to tell this woman in me before having a baby, I would tell her how strong and determined she will turn out to be. I would tell her that she is born to be a mom, to love endlessly and to give what she doesn’t even know she has!
I would tell her that every moment she felt like she was tired, she was wrong, the real exhaustion doesn’t really unfold it’s painful truth until after having a baby. I would tell her that she married the right person who will turn out to be just the perfect father she had imagined. I would tell her to wear every pair of high heeled stilettos because one day she is going to miss them and just getting to wear flats will be considered a good day. I would tell her to oversleep without any guilt because one day sleep will be a luxury. I would tell her to make an extra cup of coffee and have it sip by sip sitting all alone on the porch covered with fall leaves.
I would tell her to often loosen her hair and let the wind blow them because one day a messy bun will be her new and only style. I would tell her to listen to her new mommy friends, smile to a stranger mom, offer help to a mom or two, and be kind, very very kind to a mom, including her own, because she doesn’t know yet what it takes for them to get through the day. I would tell her to keep her village really close to her because it is NOT just a phrase, it really does take a village to raise a child. I would tell her that all her values are now coming to life when this brand new person is watching and learning from her every move. I would tell her to believe in everything she does because one night when she will pray for her toddler to go to sleep, he might just say what fun he had with her and that will melt her to the floor.
I would tell her that life will be full of hardships but there is a little bundle of joy waiting for her to embrace those arms and to hold her finger as she navigates through life.
And the dear old me, if you gazed at the stars for hours, imagining the beautiful life you will weave in your future, please know, that you are living in it now. Also know, that life gets busier and amidst all this hustle are the deep meaningful kisses, cutest smiles, innocent love and warmest hugs that will shape your new identity of a Mom. The Mom you always needed by your side, the Mom you looked upon to in every pain and joy, the Mom whose views mattered to you, you are that Mom now to someone. His eyes twinkle when he sees you and his heart blooms when you love him.
Motherhood is hard and yet so beautiful and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I may not be the old me but it has changed me to be a better person. 🌹